I've moved

sadly I am leaving this place, though I am not taking it down, and moving to tumblr.com.. see me continue my politically incorrect and insulting antics on http://neilisthekingoftheworld.tumblr.com/ see yah!!

Electoral Deathmatch: How we Should Redesign our Electoral Process

Now that's how you should settle an argument!!

We all know that the Philippine Government is the biggest failure second only to Manny Paquiao's singing career. It is one giant heap of every wrong thing that should not be done with regards to running a modern country. If our government goes back to school, I'd say it would flunk the first grade trying to match the names of the shapes.

Well, I think I should be thankful that compared to other governments of the world, our president does not shoot people on sight (though I do believe that she shoots them when we are all not looking). Compared to her contemporaries who erected statues of themselves everywhere just like statues of Ronald McDonald,one who started a war thinking he was playing cowboys and Indians and another one who believes that Israel should be eradicated, she does fair a little better. When you analyze our world, it has funnier and crazier characters than Sesame street. It is like all the IQ in this world went to Bill Gates and rest are acting like retarded monkeys playing a game of Sim City (No offense to retarded monkeys).

Come to think of it, aside from being totally incompetent, unable to control the greed of her first family and her cronies, and spending the country's budget as if it was her own credit card, her only flaw is being a part of the Lord of the Rings. She is just this lone hobbit trying to return the ring but in the process gets tempted to keep it all to herself.

So my proposal to end this incompetence in our government is to create an electoral process that brings out the competitive, enduring and thick-skinned individuals and allows them to get selected for office. I'm talking about a good old death match that determines who our leaders would be. Isn't this idea great? Come on, instead of politicians singing, acting and dancing like people with cerebral palsy (again no offense to those suffering with cerebral palsy, I know being compared to politicians is very insulting) we can see them beat the hell out of each other until only one remains. I'm talking about blood, guts and violence that beats UFC!

They would be put in a cage surrounded with barbed wires, weapons and set on fire. No holds barred and no rules, just kill or be killed. My, I'm freaking sure that there would be 100% voters turnout as Filipinos would stop all that they are doing and cheer for their hometown hero, just like we do for Manny Pacquiao. Wouldn't it be fun to see one presidentiable dismember another using an ax? Of course there would be alliances and betrayals but in the end there should only be one left standing.

What I'm trying to say here is that this is a process designed to see how bad people really want to serve our countrymen. Would they be willing to die for us common folk and kill in order to lead us? This is the leader we seek, not some lame-assed politician who couldn't even make his own decisions and relies on half-assed projects that further disrupt the lives of Filipinos. We long for a leader who is willing to get his or her hands dirty just to finish the job. I'm sure our own president wouldn't even take a bullet for anyone that calls himself a Filipino. My God, she can't even apologize properly for every mistake she has done. So if it's a death match that is needed to filter out all the rotten ones then this is what should be done. We should start arming these thugs and placing them in cages to take each other out.

If this sick plan of mine fails, at least there is something to look forward to every election day that beats having to stand in line the whole day to vote and finding out that your ballot was just another of the million used to cheat a new official into office. I'd rather vote for American Idol!

Funny Image of the Week

This makes me reconsider my jiu-jitsu hobby..

So You Think You Can Sing?: Contender 2 - Girly Man

Now we travel to the steppes of Bollywood to witness their own tribute for the late King of Pop. With the song entitled Girly Man they failed to achieve everything a tribute should except be freaking hilarious and a failed attempt to recreate thriller.

So enjoy MJ fans!

So You Think You Can Sing?: Contender 1 - Kim Dong Won the Korean

Since I've seen a lot of people trying their luck on singing and humiliation I decided to start a new segment in this blog for a few laughs. Starting today I'll be posting those who have the guts but unfortunately not the talent to belt out pure, heartfelt and just plain hilarious lyrics and let you decide who is the best among them. Write in your comments and rate them from 1 to 10 with 10 being the funniest and 1 being pure humiliation.

So lets get this laugh trip started with a fellow asian Kim Dong Won the Korean who I think you guys know from his rendition of Mariah's Tuts My Barreh! He comes back with a better outfit and more terrible singing with his version of always be my baby.

Enjoy!

Funny Video of the Week: Tuts my Barreh!

Give it up for the Korean boy!! I sure love Mariah but I like his version better!

I don't know what's worst: his singing or his lyrics!

A Call for Collective Action Among Men

My brothers! Assemble!





It is a known fact that women in our society experience discrimination, physical abuse, sexual harassment and other activities that aim to make them subjects of men. We live in an overly patriotic society where women should be the one tending to the house while the men go out to work and make decisions for his family. But in recent years, the country has experienced a revolution and emancipation of women. Women enjoyed more rights today and are protected by the law. Women are given the right to gather and create their own groups that would help assert their rights and their protection. That is where groups like Gabriela come to the picture. These groups serve as walls and shelter for women and provide them with social security. But what about groups that serve for men?

I know, you all would say that the men are the predators of this society but don't we too need some kind of protection from unwanted advances and an avenue to lobby our rights as free men? Men too experience hardships in this life and have numerous issues that need to be addressed. So as a concerned citizen of the male population, I take it upon myself to empower men who experience discrimination and hardships in our society. I will form a organization that will cater to men and will call it: "DIEGO!"


So to get my group up and running, I have drafted a few issues that bother my brothers and hope that through our lobbying will be addressed and resolved:

1. Protection from unwanted homosexual advances:

Every man can attest that aside from the day they were circumcised the second scariest thing that happened in their life was having to go through the ordeal of gay guy hitting on him. You basically are defenseless for next to a man's mother in law, the homosexual is the man's worst nightmare. I don't hate gay people, in fact I respect their rights to live and be accepted. What I do hate is that one homo who tries so hard to get you in bed! He sits next to you in a jeepney and tries to touch your legs. God! The worst part is you can't hit him for you will be accused of being homophobic and a gay hater.

2. State Subsidy for booze and cigarettes:

Yes! people can ask for rice, canned goods and other necessities but the government do not provide free booze and smokes that are the basic needs of every man. If they can't give these stuff away for free maybe they can do something to regulate their prices just like what they do for transportation fares and what they should be doing for oil. San Miguel Corporation should be called to a senate inquiry if they suddenly raise their prices that results in Men stealing money or settling for the good 'ol Gin Bulag that is very hazardous to their health.

3. Removal of the MTRCB:

Men hate censors! Having to watch an erotic film and getting the good shit edited out is such a bummer. The very reason men watch movies is to see how much violence and sex is included in it. Nothing makes a man happier than seeing a rising starlet going at it butt-naked.

4. Free Condoms every valentines day or other holiday

Do I need to explain that men respect women thus they take it upon their hard earned salary just to bring peace to the earth? If everyone is making love then there won't be wars!

5. And last but not least, Free Porn on Free TV

It sucks having to use your credit card just to buy some decent porn. Quapio used to be great until they started their crackdown on porn vendors resulting in a lot of unemployed people. When will the government see that this is an enterprising business? People will pay for anything that involves people having sex. I puked when Mar Roxas proposed to Korina Sanchez on Wowowee but when a Mar and Korina Sex scandal would come out, yours truly would be among the first ones to have a copy of that shit.

So to all my fellow oppressed men:

Stand up and fight for your rights! A collective action is all that it takes to make our voices heard! We are this close to obtaining what is rightfully ours!!