Mocking Famous People: Jose Rizal, Father of the Emo Movement

Adios Patria Adorada

Surely everyone (I hope) knows the man engraved on the front side of a one peso coin. We've all seen him in Luneta basking under the hot afternoon sun watching over lovers too cheap to rent a room at a sleazy motel. We associate his name with hundreds of streets around the world and have a whole province dedicated to his memorial. We have all read his timeless novels, poems and recognize him as our own national hero. He is a god to some, a hero to many and an inspiration to all. He is the infamous Dr. Jose Rizal who shed his own blood to awaken the sleeping hearts and minds of the oppressed Filipinos and ignite the Philippine Revolution.

We all called him a great hero, a notorious ladies man and an eloquent speaker. He is the symbol of education, refinement and nobility. His name is equivalent to intelligence, patriotism and bravery. But little do we know that Jose Rizal is the founder of the Emo Subculture in the Philippines.

Yes, you heard me right. Our own national hero would listen to Chicosci today if he were alive and would sport tight-fitting shirts and jeans printed with logos of My Chemical Romance and The Used. He would wear eyeliners and black nail polish and occasionally slash his arms and wrists.

Here are the few reasons why I consider Jose Rizal as the Father of Philippine Emo:

1. What's With the One Sided Hair?






All pictures of Rizal showed him sporting a one sided hairstyle. God knows how much pomade he uses to maintain the shiny well-combed hair angling to one side as he walked through the windy alleys of Europe. He truly was the first one to make emo very fashionable.




2. Hero in black







Sure, we could say this is because coats were black. During that time men also wore brown and dark blue coats. Jose Rizal favored black more which is also favored by present day emos. This gave him that dark, mysterious and lonely aura that is typical from any emo kid.

3.Meetings at night



Rizal and his posse all met during the wee hours of the night. This was because what they talked about and discussed were banned and illegal. Similarly emos today prefer to meet at night for that is the only time they are able to justify their thick dark jackets and be able to freely talk without being ridiculed.

4. Oh, the Sad Sad Poetry

"One Only dies once, and if one does not die well, a good opportunity is lost and will not present itself again" - Jose Rizal



"At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever ever... Ever..."
- My Chemical Romance


Rizal has numerous poems credited under his name. A few talked about the patriotic stuff but the bulk tackled loneliness, grief, death, hopelessness and farewells. Play any My Chemical Romance song and you would see all these themes present as if Jose Rizal was a member of the 5 piece punk band.

And lastly..

5. Suicide, A willingness to give up your life.





It is debatable whether Rizal really accepted his faith wholeheartedly or regret all his choices but one thing is certain: this is what lingers in the minds of most emo people. Death, Suicide and self-hurt are the key elements of an emo personality. Rizal sure proved how emo he was when he stood lamenting his fate but resigned everything to destiny. He wrote a sad farewell letter (most emo people do) and finally got the deed done (with the help of Filipino and Spanish sharshooters).



So I might get bashed because of this article but I think its fun to reexamine key historical figures once in a while. Rizal was a hero certainly but for me Rizal is the ultimate emo kid who just happened to be born far ahead before Chicosci's Vampire Social Club debuted at MYX.